Given the events of last night and
following the election of D. Trump to the presidency of the United States, I would
like to add the following update:
The American people freely chose their new
president and as outsiders feeling close to Americans we can only acknowledge
it. I wrote my article on Tuesday, November 8th and I still mean every word of
it. There are many things I love in the USA and I admire about Americans. But
it is clear that following this unexpected election, like many I feel confused
and a priori pessimistic.
On this US Election Day I remember a question
somebody asked me not so long ago. The question was “what are your motivations
to settle back in the US?” Indeed, after having lived and grown up in France, lived
for one year in the US, and then come back to France for 2 years, why are we
about to go back to the US (this time permanently)?
I had already written an article on this issue in
2014, "in the heat of the moment." But more than two years later we
haven’t changed our mind.
There is of course a subjective part in the answer
to this question. I will give my vision, knowing that others might feel things
differently.
For those who don’t know us yet, we are a family of
6 (me and my husband and 4 kids currently aged 3 to 11 years). We lived in 2014
in Baltimore, Md. Like any expatriate we had to struggle to overcome various
issues and restore new routines. Our children (then aged from 4 months to 8
years) didn’t speak English (except a few words learned at school for our elder
child).
I remember having been through a phase of
discouragement at first, as our expatriation wasn’t supported by a company’s
facilities and we had to figure out everything by ourselves. And even if you
know a country pretty well as a visitor (and it was our case), you know so
little about daily life in this country. Adaptation was uneven for our
children: one of them was first in trouble adapting and got strongly homesick.
It lasted a few weeks and the severity and lack of understanding of his teacher
at school contributed a lot to it, and his difficulties overwhelmed me
during a few weeks.
This detailed story about our beginning should
convince the reader that our interest for the United States is not due to the
lack of issues on our way.
What I particularly appreciated in the US, is
primarily the lack of judgment and lower social pressure: you have the
freedom to have the look you want, do pretty much what you want,
when you want and basically no one cares! This is somewhat unsettling
before you get used to it! You feel less hold
by the social norms. It
is also quite easy to join one or more "communities" (or
circles of people with common interests). In
France we often make a mistake by qualifying Americans as individualist. The
system (employment, health, etc.) certainly is, not the people.
I also enjoyed the sense of
fun and celebrations in the USA. Each day or so a new celebration
follows the last one! It goes fast and it’s
sometimes baffling. I
remember for example that the radios broadcast Christmas songs the day after
Thanksgiving (and there is an impressive amount of Christmas songs) but on
December 25th, nothing! It
was over, en route for a new celebration.
The cost of living in the United States
is a vast topic, and comparisons with France aren’t as easy and trivial as
some may say. But
I remember we were able to find many free or almost fun activities for kids (especially
during celebrations) when I had a hard time finding some free Easter events
in my town in France!
I particularly appreciate to have
a choice in the US. I
feel that in the American way of life, the greater the choice, the better. A
consequence of this is surely the consumerist mind (much choice leads to zap
and accumulate a lot of material goods) but it can also be interesting to pick
and choose the good or service (paid or partially free) that fit you.
Good mood and friendliness of
Americans are also contagious. Of
course they also have ups and downs, but they have as saying "fake it until
you make it!" For
sure it has its limits, but at least people show less their grumpiness than in
France.
Finally I particularly appreciate two
cultural behaviors of Americans: first they have a sense of gratitude. In
France the term has something religious but not there (or at least it is more
cultural than religious). I
believe this contributes to their welfare because remembering positive aspects
of one’s life puts for sure in a good mood! And
then giving and generosity are part of Americans everyday life. You are often
asked to donate and most people participate. Therefore
the society is less hard than French people imagine, because precisely the
shortcomings of the State (as expected in France) are partly filled by the
support and generosity of everyone.
What I liked less in the US, was the cost of some expenditure, such as health
budget, summer camps or child care and after school activities. But
I think this impression comes partly when much of your resources in the United
States comes from France, as for us in 2014. The health budget for example is
often taken in charge partly by the American
employer. Of
course for the unemployed individuals this is a real issue.
There is yet
another issue I strongly dislike and am scared of in the United States: firearms.
I
think that for Americans the risk is about the same as being hitten by a car for
example. But
as far as I’m concerned I try not to think about it!
One last
thing: I consider that the US is a pleasant country to emigrate with
children, because Americans like so much kids (especially younger ones) and
they express it! They
are very (sometimes too much) permissive with kids and I happened to ask myself
if I was too severe with my children when we lived in the US whereas it never happens
when we’re in France!
Obviously for a successful
expatriation to the
United States as elsewhere the first key factor is to give yourself enough time
once you are in that new country. Although
expatriation is desired, there is necessarily a time of adaptation and
destabilization for the whole family. Be
patient with yourself (which is not necessarily the easiest!) And be present
for children in particular. It’s also necessary to
speak the language! This
may seem obvious but even if you are "fluent" you may need a bit more
to survive subtleties of some conversations. I
think it’s too bad not to try to learn or deepen the language of the country of
expatriation, unless you’re there only for a short time. Finally,
if you are there, you surely master the openness that overcomes the first
clashes and cultural shocks.
In our case,
we prepare our new expatriation in the United States with great enthusiasm and
even if no country is perfect, it seems that the US is a pleasant country to
settle down for several years or more :-)
Libellés : English
