In France
there is a word pronounced several dozen times a day: "Bonjour" (i.e.
“Hello”). This preliminary form of
politeness is so widespread that one can almost think that it is universal. But
it is not.
I
read here and there articles written by non-French speaking natives (written
especially by English speakers)
about the importance of this word and how much its use in France is
surprising. Personally I am so used to it that during my first trips outside France (especially to England
and the United States)
I could not imagine even asking my way without first saying hello. It took me a
while to realize that this surprised my interlocutors. On the contrary, I thought
people who asked a question directly to a salesperson without saying hello, or
even saying "Excuse me ..." were pretty rude …
It’s
the same about Persian keywords, nobody
asks a question starting by "hello". At the very most you can begin
by "bebakhshid" ("excuse me") but more often by a
"Madam ...." or "Sir ..." pronounced on a certain
characteristic tone.
Yet
in France
there is no question of approaching someone, even for an innocuous question,
without beginning with a "bonjour". Approaching someone without first
pronouncing the word "bonjour" usually denotes a lack of politeness.
It can be replaced by "bonsoir" (good evening) after dark, but even
then "bonjour" (which literally means “good day”) is not really
shocking.
I
happened very few times in France
to start a sentence without "bonjour" and I bit my fingers every
time! It was always an emergency, not a vital emergency, but a "I see the
bus approaching and if I don’t hurry I will miss it" or "My children
who are a little further in the store start putting a mess, I have to go and
stop them" kind of emergency. And almost every time I was answered at
least coldly, and one or two times I was spotted by my interlocutor who
answered "bonjour" and waited for me to answer to it, before deigning
to come back to my question!
However
I like the dual roles of “bonjour”: cordiality and clarification.
Indeed it is first of all a sign of cordiality,
it means "I enter your space and I ask you permission to disturb
you". In this sense it is taught very early to children and allows
them to be included in social exchanges.
It
also makes it possible to gauge the
interlocutor and to clarify the atmosphere of the upcoming conversation.
Indeed, according to the tone on which the other person answers you, you know
who you are dealing with and what you stand for. A not friendly bonjour
immediately puts you in the mood, you know that this individual is mad about
you or at least is in a bad mood. You can then shorten the conversation, or
adjust your tone. This is especially useful in Government Services: when you
arrive at the counter, depending on the tone of the answer to your greeting you
know what to expect!
There is worse than not saying bonjour:
it is not receiving an answer to your bonjour! This happens sometimes when you join a group, for example in a waiting room. Sometimes you say bonjour
and no one answers. In general this is due to a negative group effect: no one feels responsible to return your
hello. It's annoying but not a big deal.
On
the other hand sometimes you say bonjour and the interlocutor does not answer, waiting
for you to express your "request". In such case she or he establishes an arm wrestling by clearly signifying that you
need her or him. This happens sometimes in various Government Services. I
remember a secretary in an extracurricular activity center of one of my
children who never deigned to answer my greetings. For sure it was really upsetting!
Libellés : English
